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Wait who died now?
Last night a guest’s driver had to drive around town looking for signal because his Tesla needed a satellite connection to open the front trunk and he had no signal here, and it doesn’t connect to wifi
Looking at birds and thinking what if human extinction is like dinosaur extinction and we just become tiny versions of ourselves that can fly
Guests always write reviews about how they weren’t able to tip because we didn’t have change. Bro you’re paying $2500 a night, just give the whole $20
Guests love saying they had to bring their kids offsite to eat. “Had to?” The fuck is “had to?” Your kid got a gun? I don’t know how else your kid made you get in a car to take them somewhere else to eat
This lady told me if her baby wakes up in the middle of the night I’ll have to move her to a new room even if it means displacing another guest who is arriving tomorrow, and the thing is, no I don’t
I did not force her to make that little guy
She said, “What, I’m less important than the other guests?” And I said, “No, but you’re also not *more* important than the other guests.”